Friday, September 17, 2004

Calgon, take me away!

Hey people,
I'm afraid that I'm going to have to be MIA for the next few days while I wrap up at this miserable job and get the fuck out of here (yay!). I will be back in Cyberspace later next week (like maybe thursday or friday), when I have officially blown this proverbial pop stand. In the meantime, you can fulfill your procrastinatory needs at one of the lovely and entertaining websites on the left.


Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Oh, the humanity

"Suspension" Posted by Hello

Yes, you are seeing that right. The girl is hanging from fishhooks implanted in in her back. Just par for the course here on Body Modification E-Zine...I had never heard of this phenomenon called "suspension" before, but here it is...Caveat: the pictures are pretty gross so be forewarned! (via Black Table)

What is suspension?

The act of suspension is hanging the human body from (or partially from) hooks pierced through the flesh in various places around the body.

Why would someone want to do a suspension?

There are many different reasons to suspend, from pure adrenaline or endorphin rush, to conquering ones fears, to trying to reach a new level spiritual consciousness and everything in between. In general, people suspend to attain some sort of "experience"...

You know, when I see something like this, I feel grateful that my life is so relatively uncomplicated. I just don't feel the need to seek a new plane of consciousness by hanging myself from my backflesh. Nor do I feel the need to implant beads under my skin, or perform elective home surgery...Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I guess I'm just old-fashioned like that.

A Very Special Episode of Growing Pains

The mug shot...at least it's not as bad as Nick Nolte'sPosted by Hello

OMG! Carol Seaver rolled her SUV - with her husband and kids in it - and got a felony DUI! AND her oldest kid is hurt! I would LOVE to know what her blood alcohol level was- like was this an error in judgement that any of could have made or was it a case of hardcore drunk driving? Poor Tracey! First the anorexia, now this! Maybe Kirk can show her the Way of the Master...WWJD, Tracey? (via Defamer)

Tracey Gold In Felony DUI Bust
Son, 7, hurt after "Growing Pains" actress rolled SUV
SEPTEMBER 13--Actress Tracey Gold, who starred in TV's "Growing Pains" and famously went public with her anorexia battle, was arrested earlier this month for drunk driving after rolling her SUV--carrying her husband and three young boys--down a California freeway embankment, The Smoking Gun has learned. The 35-year-old Gold is pictured below in a Ventura County Sheriff's Office mug shot obtained by TSG. Gold was busted by California Highway Patrol officers and charged with a felony count of driving under the influence causing injury. According to a CHP spokesman, Gold was driving a 2001 GMC Yukon on Route 118 on September 3 when she lost control of the vehicle. While Gold's husband and two of her sons (ages five and four months) were not seriously injured in the late-night crash, the actress's oldest child, 7-year-old Sage, suffered a broken clavicle and a head laceration. After CHP officers administered sobriety tests, Gold was arrested on the DUI charge, said CHP spokesman Steve Reid. Booked under her married name, Tracey Gold Marshall, the actress spent five hours in the Ventura lockup before being released on $50,000 bail. She is scheduled for an October 19 appearance in Superior Court.


Monday, September 13, 2004

Name that quasi-homeless burnout

Can you guess? Posted by Hello

The folks at Go Fug Yourself have devised a fun little game..."Busey or Nolte?"...love it.

When Novelty T-Shirts Take Over

How could I say no? Posted by Hello

He's THE ONE, Posted by Hello

MILF in Training Posted by Hello

Who is giving Britney all these novelty t-shirts and can they please stop? It is really getting a bit of hand. I mean I know it's HER PREOGATIVE and she can do what she wants to do and all that, but why does she feel the need to commuicate with us in this lowbrow manner? Next thing you know Brit and Shar Jackson will be battling it out, Brandy vs. Monica style, with shirts like "The boy is mine" and "I had him first"....I can't wait! (pics via Stereogum)

Also, in case you are curious about the aforementioned preogative, Stereogum also has a 30 second clip of the song...

Studio City

Over a million....for a STUDIO APARTMENT! Posted by Hello

Can you believe this shit? This city is nuts...

Surreal estate: 1.3M for studio

So you have $1.3 million to spend and you're looking for a place to live. Maybe a charming brownstone or a Victorian mini-mansion?
Or maybe a studio apartment with an alley view?

That's right: A super-trendy West Village apartment building is selling three 700-square-foot studios for about $1.3 million each.


Friday, September 10, 2004

The Nose Knows
If you've seen the E! True Hollywood Story, Gymnasts: Little Girls, Big Dreams (which is excellent, I highly recommend it), you MUST have noticed the dramatic physical transformation of Shannon Miller, "the most decorated American gymnast, male or female, in history"...And when I say "dramatic physical transformation", I mean "nosejob".

Then... Posted by Hello

...and now Posted by Hello

One Smart Dog

"Trigger" Posted by Hello

How cute is this puppy? Cute AND brave!...

Puppy pulls Trigger on dog-killer

They call him "Trigger."
A brave little puppy who knew he was next after watching his heartless owner shoot three of his six siblings in the head apparently decided e-ruff is e-ruff. The poky little pooch somehow managed to slip his paw on the trigger, blasting his would-be executioner in the wrist...

Ok, despite the horrible "e-ruff is e-ruff" thing, you have to admit it is a good story...


Wednesday, September 08, 2004

My Stepmother is an Alien

 Posted by Hello

Stereogum has uncovered some disturbing evidence that Britney might not be the best parental figure for the potentially fetal alcohol syndrome-afflicted Kori Jackson...Love it.

-----Original Message-----
From: Kori Federline [mailto:kori@gmail.com]
Sent: Monday, September 06, 2004 5:19 PM
To: Jackson, Shar
Subject: RE: help

dear mommy,
today daddy and britney and me went shoping. britney said she is my new mommy and that she is the prettiest mommy. britney also says NO SHOES!! even when i go to pee. tonite we r going to 711 for supper.tomorrow we r going tanning. daddy is yelling at me to finish my kabala homework.i miss you.
luv kori

ps. can i get a tatoo?

Only in...

Only in America Posted by Hello

This website
is fuuuunny (thanks, Brian!)...it has an "Only in..." for a bunch of different countries but America's might be the best.

What the...

Wha' Happened? Posted by Hello

I can't believe that this is Janeane Garofalo! She looks so different. I like Go Fug Yourself's take on it...
I remember reading, years ago, that she'd rustled up an eating disorder around the time of Reality Bites, but she certainly looks much smaller now than she did then. And with the weird, unflattering hair and the aforementioned tendency to dress like Darlene Conner...I sort of suspect there's something going on there. You know, with her body image. In that I think it's...not so good. Admittedly, this is sort of her schtick: she doesn't care how she looks, she wears whatever she wants blah blah blah, and I get that, and it would be weird if she showed up to a premiere in a shiny little Gucci number. But, for all her posturing about not caring about how she looks, she seems to be putting a lot of energy into making herself look bad. If I weren't so totally cold and dead inside, I'd say it was sort of sad. But because my heart is cast in stone and filled with coal, I'll just say this: Janeane? See a professional. No, I mean about your hair.


Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Ban the Bodysuit

The oh-so-sexy bodysuit Posted by Hello

While I was at the Jersey Shore this weekend, I had the opportunity to reaccquaint myself with the phenomenon known as The Bodysuit. For those of you unfamiliar with this particular form of evil, the bodysuit is a leotard-esque item that has snaps in the crotch (like a baby's onesie, gross!) and is worn with pants to resemble a sleek, tucked-in shirt. While this garment had it's heyday in the mid to late 80's (phased out in about 1992-3), it has since made some appearances in such bastions of bad taste as Victoria's Secret and International Male. For the most part, however, the bodysuit has thankfully gone the way of pegged pants and banana clips. Not so at the Jersey Shore, where the bodysuit is alive and kicking...which got me to thinking...

...Despite its involvement in many of our generation's sexual coming-of-age moments, the bodysuit is really not a good garment for sexual hijinks. In fact, it completely disrupts the continuity and flow of the "first base, second base, third base, home" system of making out that American youth have relied on since possibly the dawn of time. You see, the bodysuit does not permit access to "second base" and forces a move to third (below the belt) in order to unsnap said bodysuit (ewww) and get at second. Now is anybody really going to backtrack and remain at second once they have been at third? Not likely. This is proof positive that the Bodysuit will contribute to increased sexual activity, STDs, and teen pregnancy in our youth and is therefore an evil that can not be allowed to resurface!...And it's fugly. Enough said. Bodysuit Begone!

Not again!...

GHASTLY DEATH: The body of Joann Leavy is lifted onto a gurney after the NYU grad student jumped off a school building and landed in the gutter on Mercer Street.
- N.Y. Post: Don Halasy
 Posted by Hello

What the fuck is going on at NYU?!?!? SIX suicide jumps off the roof in the PAST YEAR?!? There is something seriously wrong here...The only thing I can think of is that maybe the lack of a clearly defined campus is hard on students? I can see it not being a great environment to be thrown into as a young college student away from your family for the first time. There may be a lot less support for students during times of pressure and transition, etc. But this girl was a grad student AND lived with her family. And I still can't figure out why NYU would continue to leave the roof accessible. Watch out, Mary Kate!

September 7, 2004 -- A frantic NYU student yesterday ran from her family's Greenwich Village apartment saying, "Don't tell my father" — before racing to the roof of her graduate-school building and jumping naked 12 stories to her death.

Joann Leavy, 23, is the sixth student at New York University to take a fatal leap in the past year.


Thursday, September 02, 2004

She's a Man, baby!

 Posted by Hello
Star magazine is AWESOME.

BRITNEY SPEARS' husband of just 55 hours, Jason Alexander, found himself another blonde to play with during a recent trip to Miami.

And his latest squeeze, named Ana, has something Britney doesn't have -- a male member!

"The moment Jason saw Ana, he went straight over and asked her to dance," said an eyewitness at Miami's Club Space on the night that Alexander, 22, met Ana. "They spent the next four hours dancing, kissing and drinking.

I don't think he knew he was kissing a guy. Mind you, he seemed pretty drunk...
(via Stereogum)

"You can't have your cake and eat it, fuckers"

timber!... Posted by Hello

I'm loving this Top 10 list of Bush Twin Gossip...Daddy's campaign manager must just LOOOOOVE them...(via whatevs)

The Bush Twins: Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll Reprise

Recently, GOP apparatchiks have announced that Jenna and Barbara Bush would be taking a more active role in their father's campaign. The staffers have also, however, inveighed against members of the press who would seek to use the twins' new role to compromise their privacy. As Richard Spencer, editor of In Touch Weekly, basically said over the weekend: 'You can't have your cake and eat it, fuckers.' So, in that spirit and in celebration of the twins both graduating from college, here is the top ten plus one of the juiciest things reported about the twins in the last few years (in no particular order)...


How low can she go?... Posted by Hello

I am loving this site Go Fug Yourself, whose motto is "Fugly is the new Pretty", if only because they displayed this trashy-as-all-get-out pic of Brit...Good Lord, Woman! Pull your pants up and pull it together!


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