Thursday, January 12, 2006

"Get used to walkin', sucka!"

For some reason I can't get this animated GIF of a convo between Jen Aniston and Maddox Jolie to show up directly here, but I STRONGLY encourage you to click through and watch it...

Trust me, you won't be sorry.


Wednesday, January 11, 2006

"It's not right, but it's ok"

Whitney Houston is back on the drugs and looks like a bag lady, the National Enquirer reports in its latest issue. The once-stunning Grammy winner was photographed at an Atlanta gas station at 4 a.m. one morning last month, looking disheveled and bizarre in pajama bottoms, a $50,000 fur coat and a messy wig.

Looks like she's forgotten about "the greatest love of all". Or maybe she's decided that The Greatest Love of All = Crack.

I Love This Show

If you're still not watching A&E's Intervention, despite all my cajoling and attesting to it's awesomeness, perhaps this TWOP recap of a classic episode will convince you...

The title is "You've got to know when to fold them, GABE", which refers to the bratty, entitled gambling addict of the episode, and alternately, "You down with OCD?", referring to the sad, compulsive shopper in this episode, who was on the first 3 seasons of ER, though I recognized her as Ana Delgado from Stand and Deliver.


Intervention: "Gabe And Vanessa"
You Gotta Know When To Fold Them, GABE...And your parents should know when to walk away. Actually, they should know when to run. Unfortunately, the time for them to run was about half a million dollars ago, so now their only option is Intervention. Elsewhere, a very nice young lady named Vanessa squanders her ER residuals, compulsively checks the lock on her apartment door, and cries. But at least she doesn't have that awful perm anymore, so it's not all bad.

Sucks to be Jen

Angelina Jolie Pregnant
Angelina Jolie is expecting a baby this summer with Brad Pitt, PEOPLE has confirmed. "Yes, I'm pregnant," Jolie told a charity aid worker in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, Monday. The pregnancy has since been confirmed by representatives of both stars...


Friday, January 06, 2006

Governor Kid Millionaire?

This LA Weekly article on the infestation of a "subspecies of hipster", the “indie yuppies” or "yindies" is hilarious...it describes what our world might look like if they take over.

I'm excerpting my favorite ones:

1. Following in the footsteps of Johnny Cash and Neil Diamond, Billy Joel announces he will collaborate with Rick Rubin for a return to his roots as “a simple piano man.” In the autumn of ’06, Joel releases Moods Vol. I, the first album in a planned trilogy, featuring stripped-down covers by Leonard Cohen, Serge Gainsbourg, Ben Folds and Huey Lewis & the News — with Lewis and Joel duetting on “I Want a New Drug,” an allusion to Joel’s struggles with alcoholism. (This leads, in turn, to a surge in Lewis’ hipster cred; he tours the U.K. and major U.S. markets in the spring of ’07 with the Strokes as his backing band.)

2. Marking a radical turn in direction, Gucci deposes creative director Alexander McQueen and names American Apparel founder and CEO Dov Charney as his successor. Charney’s first couture line prominently features soft, brightly colored cotton, white piping and zippers.

6. It’s announced that the performers for 2007’s Super Bowl Halftime Show in Miami will be a new supergroup called The Clap Your Go Team Fire! The show will be sponsored by the newest addition to the MTV Networks family, Pitchfork Television.

7. On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, the morning after the California general election, it’s announced that a surprise write-in candidate has triumphed over Arnold Schwarzenegger. Our new governor is to be Steve Aoki, a.k.a. DJ Kid Millionaire — heir to the Benihana restaurant fortune and owner of the indie rock label Dim Mak (Bloc Party, The Kills, Das Oath). Aoki makes the following public statement: “I’m so inspired by the people of Los Angeles, the way they go to work every day. They’re fucking awesome.” His first official move is to make Silver Lake the new state capital, with plans to annex Brooklyn.

Incidentally, I found the above pic here via google images and find it, likewise, hilarious...


Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Skeletwins: The jig is up

So Lohan's finally admitting to drugs and bulimia...it's only a matter of time before Ritchie caves too...

Tinseltown teen queen Lindsay Lohan has finally 'fessed up to doing drugs — and becoming so bulimic that she couldn't stand the sight of her own skeletal figure...

...Lohan's confession that she battled bulimia was a far cry from what she had told another interviewer less than a year ago amid growing speculation over her rail-thin figure.

Then, a defiant Lohan insisted, "[The doctor] was like, 'Are you anorexic? Are you making yourself throw up? Are drugs involved?'

"And I was like, 'Are you saying this because you've read it in magazines? Because I don't!' " Lohan said at the time.
Sound familiar, Nicole?


Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Competitive Eating/Competitive Starving

This is a great article on my new fave sport, competitive eating...Steve and I are obsessed!:

"To become a champion, the competitive eater must understand every aspect of the eating process. Mastication is a tool, digestion irrelevant, and urges contrary to swallowing -- one of the IFOCE euphemisms for vomiting -- equal death. How much can your stomach hold? How large a portion can you swallow? How fast can you chew? How quickly and accurately can you get the food from your plate to your mouth? Champions don't drop half a serving on the floor, or waste it on their shirt. Hand to mouth and down the gullet. That's what counts in the final score. Chewing, swallowing, and placing the food directly into your mouth as quickly as possible are essential and trainable skills..."
...Meanwhile, someone needs to train Nicole Ritchie in these skills, as she is rapidly becoming the reigning Champion in Competitive Starving. Seriously, if I read one more article with her denying that she has any sort of problem ("I've always been skinny", "I'm just small-boned" "I don't even have a scale"), I'm going to go find her at LAX or whatever stupid Hollywood club she and Mischa Barton are currently frequenting and force a burger down her throat. It's not only for her sake- it's a public health issue! She could put out someone's eye with that sternum of hers!

(pic via PITNB and here)


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?