Thursday, December 29, 2005

Concerned Couch Potatoes
During Leah's visit, in addition to discovering The Miracle of the Animal-Style Fries (see below), we also formed a very elite society known as The Concerned Couch Potatoes. As I noted previously, she and I spent most of her visit on the couch, immersed in the contents of the Tivo. However, no mere passive consumers of media were we! To the contrary, we were extremely engaged. We found ourselves pausing said Tivo quite frequently to voice our concerns...

How was Gabbie of Transgeneration going to adapt to life as a post-op transsexual? Not well, we felt.

Should R. Kelly's (alleged) pedophiliac transgressions be forgiven in light of his genius with Trapped in the Closet? Probably not, we concluded, though it was tempting.

Would Kathy Griffin and her husband be able to work out their differences prior to season 2 of My Life on the D-List? We sincerely hoped so.

Noticing our levels of empathy, unusual for couch potatoes, we coined the moniker "The Concerned Couch Pototoes" for our coterie. And we even came up with a slogan that truly captures our essence- that of slothful, lazy, but well-meaning concern:

Concerned Couch Potatoes: We're concerned- we're not going to do anything about it- we're just saying.


Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Animal Style, all the way

While the majority of Leah's Xmas visit to LA was spent on my couch, we Couch Potatoes (more on this later) did interact with the outside world on a few memorable occasions. On one such occasion, we had a magical experience at In-N-Out Burger that I feel the need to relate here.

Now as most locals know, In-N-Out has a "secret" menu that allows for some variation on their infamous burgers. What we did NOT know is that there are some fry options that the customer may indulge in as well!

We were at the counter, anxiously awaiting our order to emerge, when someone elses' order caught our eye...just what were these french fries we had never seen before?!?! Smothered with grilled onions and sauce (see pic)? Equal parts horrified and mesmerized, we urgently interrogated the counter boy. He informed us that they were ANIMAL-STYLE FRENCH FRIES!!! Who knew???

Well of course we had to have them immediately. We were prepared to get back in the long ordering line when something truly miraculous occurred...the original orderer of the Animal Style Fries found something amiss- she had specified no grilled onions...the Fries were bestowed upon us by default! And even better, her revised order was also incorrect so we got those too!!! The Potatoes returned to their Couch very happy indeed, bursting at the seams with their tale of serendipity...of course after consuming the fruits of their luck, they were bursting at the seams in a physical manner as well and could not eat for the remainder of the day. But it was all worth it...those fries are AMAZING!!!


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

(Love, Angel, Music) Baby Stefani-Rossdale

So Gwen Stefani (AKA HarujukuLuva#1) is officially preggo. Congrats to Gwen and Gavin, I'm sure it will be beautiful...But I SWEAR, if they name that child Love, Angel, Music, or Baby, I will fucking kill somebody.


Friday, December 09, 2005

Poor MK...

...She was so happy with Stavros on the trampoline! Until that Skank Ho Paris got her claws in him...

Check out this interview with MK in W magazine...

Then, this past fall, just as Mary-Kate was settling into Manhattan life and her sophomore year, Paris Hilton started dating Stavros Niarchos III, the Greek shipping heir and Olsen's boyfriend of five months. That, it seems, was the straw that broke the camel's back. In October, MK, as her friends call her, took a leave of absence from NYU and moved back to Los Angeles to pursue her acting career.

"It just got really hectic and I started feeling the city," says Olsen. "My world was really small when I was here." When asked if there was a specific incident that made her want to leave, Olsen shrugs: "I think we can all guess."

According to Olsen's best friend, Hayden Slater, the Hilton affair was very much a catalyst for the move. "She's really hurt. Did I see it coming? Absolutely not," he says. A senior at NYU, Slater met Olsen through her ex-boyfriend David Katzenberg and had been taking an acting class with her this past fall. "She likes to keep on the down-low and just hide out, and it's obviously really hard, especially with everything going on recently. She needed to get away from New York."

Olsen is loath to talk about Hilton, although she does concede that she unwittingly introduced her to Niarchos. "[Paris and I] always only had nice things to say about each other," she says. "Now I guess you can tell we're not talking." Of her former boyfriend, Olsen says, "I miss him and I love him and I don't speak with him anymore. It's a hurtful and painful subject. I've pretty much been with someone my whole life, so this is a hard time for me."
And now she's drowning her sorrows in caffeine...

...it's the Starbucks cup that has become Mary-Kate's most identifiable accessory. When I first meet her at 4:30 in the afternoon, she's nervously clutching a mug of coffee, then it's on to a Diet Coke. Before 10 p.m., she will drink two more Ventis and smoke several Marlboro Reds with her publicist, Michael Pagnotta, who has worked with her since she was five. (Of the two to four giant Starbucks beverages she downs a day, she says she generally alternates between chai latte and skim latte—though she recently discovered the red eye, a potent mix of coffee and espresso. "Those will wake you up," she says, chuckling.)
Jesus Christ, the Venti at Starbucks is bigger than she is! How could she possibly consume 4?

(article via PITNB, pics via JustJared)


Thursday, December 01, 2005

Kangaroo Wes

So it's still unclear if this is true or not and it may be horribly mean of me to hope that it is but it would just be such a hilarious fate to befall Real World Austins's Biggest Tool, Wes...

Wes was involved in a serious accident this morning (Australia time). Johanna called me this morning crying uncontrollably, it seems that a significant accident happened while on the set of the final challenge. Apparently they had a pen of Australian animals close by for some involvement in the final challenge. You know, wallabees, koalas, kangaroos -that sort of thing to aid flair to the Australian flavor of the show. During some down time while they were setting up the shoot, Wes wandered over tothe animal pen with some other cast members to kill some time. I didn't realize this (look it up on the internet) but if provoked it turns out that kangaroos can be really viscious and have been known to eviscerate people when in the wild.

The trainer was present, but not entirely paying attention. At some point (the details are a little fuzzy) the kangaroos attacked one of the female crew members. Being the workout fraternity type of guy, Wes leaped the pen and tried to wrestle the animal to the ground. Although he was fairly successful, the kangaroo did lots of damage to him. He wound up with a major concussion, some broken bones, and was torn up very badly (I'm told that the MTV exec in charge of production saw his skull through his torn scalp) and was taken to a local hospital unconscious. The crew member originally attacked had only minor scratches, thanks to Wes. Johanna related this to me this morning, and she's very shaken up. Wes isn't in a coma or anything, but has been slipping in and out of consciousness inthe hospital. He's in stable but serious condition. I know that they're calling in a plastic surgeon, because a large amount of the damage was to his face and scalp. The crew has postponed further shooting until they figure out what to do in his absence. I know that Jo is looking to book a flight to Australia, she's asking Bunim Murray to pay for it because it's so expensive this last minute. Apparently, so is Lacey (it was off camera, but there's lots of rumors about her and Wes having been together a short bit during the season). The big question on everyone's mind is whether they'll air the footage if the cameras were rolling, which would be unconscionable.
(pic and info via Planetsocks)

Also, as an aside, the guy that received the Wes email apparently has been stringing along his manager in a prank that is quite funny...the dude also manages other reality stars and has some shit to say about Trichelle...

"Go shorty, it's your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah."

Ok, so the Bar Mitzvah scene in LA and NY has always been a little crazy and over the top - my parents received an invite yesterday that was a faux marble ten commandments tablet, no joke - but I think we can all agree that it has now officially gotten out of hand...

For his daughter's coming-of-age celebration last weekend, multimillionaire Long Island defense contractor David H. Brooks booked two floors of the Rainbow Room, hauled in concert-ready equipment, built a stage, installed special carpeting, outfitted the space with Jumbotrons and arranged command performances by everyone from 50 Cent to Tom Petty to Aerosmith...

...The party cost an estimated $10 million, including the price of corporate jets to ferry the performers to and from. Also on the bill were The Eagles' Don Henley and Joe Walsh performing with Fleetwood Mac's Stevie Nicks; DJ AM (Nicole Richie's fiance); rap diva Ciara and, sadly perhaps (except that he received an estimated $250,000 for the job), Kenny G blowing on his soprano sax as more than 300 guests strolled and chatted into their pre-dinner cocktails.

The best part by far?...
For his estimated $500,000, I hear that 50 Cent performed only four or five songs - and badly - though he did manage to work in the lyric, "Go shorty, it's your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah."


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