daily roundup

More Fugly-wear

Can we get some new shorts, please? 

Another day, another regrettable fashion choice from the soon-to-be Mrs. Spears-Federline (via whatevs)...She really needs to stop wearing those ugly-ass shorts with the pockets sticking out. With all the money she has, you'd think she could afford another pair of cutoffs. Or maybe she's trying to pull the wool over the paparazzi's eyes, a la Jen Aniston? In any case, I am fucking sick of seeing those shorts. It's getting almost as bad as Real World San Diego Cameran's omnipresent crusty white short-shorts. Which I can't find a picture of except the one burned into my brain....
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UPN: Cultural Meltingpot

Resident Non-Amish, Half-Persian 

I only caught half of the premiere episode of Amish in the City so I didn't realize (though I had my suspicions) that Kevan was a member of the Persian Posse...NOW we're showing those Amish kids the REAL LA, baby!

Biggest irony of the episode, summarized neatly by TVgasm...

...Might the city kids begin respecting the Amish?? We would have to wait to see, because up next SHAVE DOWN THE HAIRY AMISH GUY! That's right, Mose who was deemed "too hairy" by Kevan, agreed to be stripped down and publicly shaved of his body hair. Welcome to LA, Mose...

Hee! The AMISH guy was called too hairy by the PERSIAN guy! That is great. Us persians know that this bullshit is totally the Pot calling the Kettle Hairy. Love it.


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My place or yours?
Funny post debating the critical issue of whether a hook-up is better at your place or theirs...I think there are many pros and cons to each side (which are hotly debated in the comments)...it is a complex and multi-faceted issue for our times. (via Whatevs)

home vs. away
There are certain things that just make sense. Quiznos is better than Subway. Crunk is better than Red Bull. Saved by The Bell is better than Saved By The Bell: The New Class. While these statements can't actually be considered "facts," they aren't exactly "opinions" either, because they are "correct." They are statements that any sane, rational person would agree with, right? Right. They just are. I mean, if you overheard somebody saying "I think The New Class was superior because Weasel was funnier than Screech," you'd just turn around and dismiss that person as an idiot. Because they are.

So what am I getting at? Well, last night, the roommate Eric had this to say about hooking up:

"I prefer going back to Her place. I like it better than taking a girl home."

Insane! The kid PREFERS Away Games to Home Games! Unprecedented!...

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Where a kid can be a kid

Yay! 

A Chuck E. Cheese just opened up in Brooklyn! I wanna go! Skee-ball! Yay! Anyone else interested?
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The Other, Skeletal Brit

Listen to Whitney: Crack is Wack 

I'm glad that someone is finally acknowledging that Brittany Murphy looks like a crackhead on a bad day...While every fucking show on VH1 or E! seems to be congratulating her on her "starlicious" makeover, only MSN seems to have the balls to come out and say that she looks like shit on a stick. Ok, so MSN entertainment didn't put it quite that crassly but you know that's what they mean...

We still have a hard time reconciling the fact that it was Brittany Murphy who belted out "Rolling with the Homies" as the cute, cuddly Tai in "Clueless." The adorable actress from that film seems light years removed from the frail young woman who has been slowly wasting away on the red carpet. With her sunken eyes and sickly pallor, Brittany looks like she barely has the strength to carry her clutch, never mind a whole movie ("Little Black Book," due out September). The newly single star should realize that most men prefer curvy to cadaverous, so in the future, she should try her darndest to add more skin, less bone.

And can I just add that the movie Little Black Book looks to be the worst piece of crap to ever be unleashed upon the public?...
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Toxic?

FUGLY doesn't even begin to capture the hideousness of this pirate-in-hot-pink-hot-pants ensemble 

Ok, I wasn't intending to post another picture of Brit and Kev's horribly misguided fashion sense. I was just looking for a pic of the happy couple to adorn the real story that I intended to post about. But, unfortunately, this monstrosity hit me in the face on Stereogum first. Sigh...ok, on to the real story...

Britney advised to get Federline tested for AIDS!
Britney Spears has been asked to get her fiance Kevin Federline to undergo an AIDS test.

Kevin's ex-fiance, Kerri Whittington, 26, is reported to have warned the 'Toxic' singer that Federline's frequent bouts of unprotected sex put him at risk to sexually transmitted diseases...

..."Kevin's slept with so many women. Britney should get an AIDS test. He never used protection with me. He was experienced even though he was only 17 when we started dating," rate the music quoted Kerri as saying.

(via Defamer)
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Target: Bringing Cult Worship to the Masses

Could it BE more over? 

File this in the "Are you fucking kidding me?" file...Target is now selling Kabbalah string. I'm not sure that I have the words to express the levels of stupidity involved here...(via Gawker)
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Brave New World

Scary stuff. 

Check out this ACLU site that gives you a taste of what ordering-in might be like soon, if we don't put a stop to the madness...(via Newyorkish)

UPDATE: Does this mean that I might have to start cooking?!?! Egads!
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Daily Britney Dose

WTF?... 

Why, pray tell, is Brit wearing her pants like this? WHY??!?! Is she trying to be "street"? Does her knee injury prevent her from wearing long pants? WHAT? Ideas, anyone? (via Stereogum)
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Dance what you feel


Dance the shit out of it! 

Oh Happy Day! The geniuses at Television Without Pity have done a summary for my fave teen dance movie of the new millenium...Centerstage! It doesn't get any better than this! Here is a sample, from just the first paragraph...I may pass out from the sheer joy of it all...I heart TWOP so much!

The girl -- who, we'll soon learn, is named Jody Sawyer -- looks so much like Jennie Garth that the IMDb had Garth listed on the Center Stage cast list for, like, weeks after it opened. However, once she opens her mouth, it becomes clear that she's not Jennie Garth, but a dancing ringer, because she is a pretty sucky actor.

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Balcony Blow Job?...

You be the judge 

OMG, check out this series of paparazzi photos from Brit and Kevin's balcony...I would like to open a debate as to what else could have been going on here. Besides what Defamer is hypothesizing...

Sure, Kevin, taping some Cheetos to your penis may have been an easy way to lure Britney into a balcony blowjob, but you're going to have a hard time explaining the orange dust and bite marks to the emergency room doctor.

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Things that make you go hmmm

Thanks to Rene at Anonymous Content for pointing out this interesting Dodge Ram marketing expose...


The resemblance is striking 

After years of health education in the renowned Cohasset Elementary / Middle / High School System, I know a thing or two about the female reproductive system. I can tell you all about your "ovaries," your "labia," your "uterus," the corpus luteum, estrogen, and progesterone- the works... This excellent background led me, as if guided by God Himself, to notice something truly amazing.

Many of you are familiar with the "Tough Guy" image that truck companies try to create in their television commericals - with all the off-roading and drag-racing up hills with boats in tow (because there's all that water at the top of hills)... Incidentally, most of what you see voids the warranty that comes with such vehicles... Anyway, I ask you how 'macho' a Dodge Ram can be when their emblem is basically the female reproductive system with nostrils.

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Diva Smackdown

This blog has a great depiction of an imaginary encounter between the marriage-lovin' divas, Brit-Brit and J-Lo. Plus the Ghost of Mariah Carey comes in with some important words of wisdom. (Via Defamer)

The Players:


J-Lo 

Mariah's Ghost 

Britney 

BRITNEY SPEARS: (Sauntering up to JENNIFER. Tauntingly) So...what do you think of my new fiancé?

JENNIFER LOPEZ: (Flaunting her wedding ring) I prefer my husband. You know what they say: one in the hand is worth two in the bush.

BS: Oh, I'm sure you can fit a lot more than two in that bush.

JL: I'm sorry, did you say something? I can barely hear you through the Great Wall of silicone embedded in your chest.

BS: Really? Well, why don't you turn around and let me say it to that Grand Canyon of an ass you've got. Maybe you'll catch one of the echoes.

JL: Oh, Brit-Brit, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got to go home and fuck the shit out of my highly successful husband.

BS: Is that supposed to mean something?

JL: Only that I didn't have to stoop to marrying a freaking backup dancer...

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Springer, Here we come!

Hee! Whatevs is so funny. No better site for trashing the trashy.

brit brit's WT past ... REVEALED!
so, you thought swilling booze/ginseng in the street was dirty? that smoking cigarettes while laying on your back and dipping your crusty bunions in the pool wasn't exactly ladylike? that stealing a man from a woman seven months preggers was kinda ho-ass? well, what do you expect from a girl who's got an uncle named ROAD KILL WILLIE?!?...

Yup, that's Roadkill Willie. Because he cooks and eats roadkill. Here's the link to the Enquirer article.

But wait, it gets better...

7-11: Only the Best for Brit 

UPDATE (11:56am): what's even trashier than having an uncle named Road Kill Willie? when a pop princess cum skanky step mother buys skanky flowers to congratulate her skanky love rat fiance on the birth of his son WITH ANOTHER WOMAN from 7/11 while barefoot! the photos have to be seen to be believed.

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Call it a comeback

Hee! Very amusing list on McSweeny's...

POSSIBLE FOLLOW-UP SONGS FOR ONE-HIT WONDERS

How Are We Going to Get These Dogs Back In?

Bust an Additional Move

Seriously, Eileen, Come On

(Won't You Give Me A Ride Home From) Funkytown?

Remember When You Lit up My Life? That Was Great

I Will Now Pass the Dutchie Back to You and Thank You for Passing It to Me Originally Because I Really Enjoyed the Dutchie

The Morning That the Lights Came Back on in Georgia

Everybody Was Kung Fu Making Up

Achier Breakier Heart

Whoomp! There It Continues to Be

867-5309 extension 2

We Never Took It and Persist in Our Refusal to Take It

(via NewYorkish)


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Stalkerazzi


Not from this sighting 

So Brian and I were killing time after dinner, before seeing that new Metallica documentary (which is waaaay too long- don't see it), when lo and behold, who should be walking down Houston but the Elf Princess and her real life Elf husband. That's mean but he is really short. Of course we immediately jumped off the bench we were sitting on and went into full-on stalker mode, trailing them down the street to confirm their identities. Anyway, she looked great and they were very lovey-dovey together, ignoring all the whispered "Oh-my-god-did-you-see-it's-Liv-Tyler!"s. The LES was ablaze with this news and every person within a block was on their cell phone passing it along within 30 seconds of the sighting. Including me, of course. Unfortunately I don't have a cell phone cam yet so no stalker photo to share. Boo.
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Well, you said you wanted a famous face!

The "Brad Pitt" Twins 

Ok, this is a little out of date but I had a total epiphany. The other day those twins who were on that MTV show "I want a famous face" were on some morning news program. They went on the show to look like Brad Pitt. Of course they don't end up looking like Brad PItt. Not in the slightest. But you know who they DO end up looking like?.....wait for it....Steven Cojocaru!!! The resemblance is uncanny, really.


Cojo! 
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Say it ain't so. Please.

A father again? 

OMG, Reuters is reporting that Michael Jackson is about to have 4 more kids- quadruplets- via another surrogate mother! WTF!!! This is a sure sign of the apocalypse...how could someone let this man have MORE kids to fuck up? Even if he ISN'T a child molester, his kids are going to be a goddamn mess. And now 4 more. 4!!!

Report: Michael Jackson to Be Father of Quadruplets
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Website Issues

Just wanted to let you all (all 10 of you reading this) know that I am well aware of the formatting issues that are currently plagueing this blog. For some reason, after Blogger updated their text editing tool, my blog's formatting went haywire. Now the earlier posts are overlapping into the sidebar, pushing the links down to the bottom of the page and leaving the "Robin's Rack" title from a post up in the sidebar. I can't figure out what is wrong and I have emailed the support people so until they help a blogger out (please!), just kindly ignore the problem...and if you want the links, they are at the bottom. Sorry!
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More Freaky People in Cyberspace

Very Teen Wolf 
 
Thanks to New Yorkish for another addition to the Freaks on the Internet series...this time it's a website for people who like long fingernails on men. Since untrimmed fingernails on men is one of my biggest pet peeves, this site is seriously grossing me out.

Long fingernails on a guy are really very special to me. I like to see guys with long, sharp fingernails, the longer and sharper the better. I fantasize about being pinched and scratched by those claws. I collect pictures, video clips and (fantasy) stories about guys with long fingernails. I also like to exchange mail with guys actually having their nails (extremely) long. This web site shows my collection of pictures, video clips, (fantasy) stories and a message board for people with similar interest in long fingernails on men to meet each other. Enjoy!

The best part by far though is this "example of a 'business card' like note, that you could carry in your wallet, to hand out to long-nailed guys you meet"- can you just imagine?...
 

Freaks!!! 
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Cutest (and largest) Puppy Ever

Sleepy Jake!  
 
Time for cute doggie photos! Look at Jakey! Soooooo cute!

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Taking out the trash

More classy Brit pics...here she is grabbing her hubby-to-be's balls... 
 
...and there are more pics in this Sun article...including one that features the cellulite on Brit's booty. I felt that one was too mean to reproduce here. But you should still check it out...;)

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Are you fucking kidding me?

Worst. Typo. Ever. 
 
I just can't believe this!...Doesn't anyone proofread anything anymore? And I can't believe that no one noticed this until NOW. It's been up for 2 years! Thousands of people look at that plaque every day! This kind of thing just drives me crazy. If you were getting a large metal signed printed, that was intended to be permanent and to be seen by the world, you'd think that you'd be a little more careful...

JULY 15--In an embarrassing governmental gaffe, an official tribute sign erected on the fence surrounding Ground Zero actually misstated the date of the terror attacks, a glaring mistake addressed only after a visitor recently complained about the error. The sign, which memorialized victims killed in the Pentagon attack, noted that "September 11, 2002" was a pivotal day for the country and the world...