daily roundup

Robin's Rack

This article In Frankie's words from the Kansas City Star has a lot of good stuff to snark about. But the best part is this description she gives of Robin's rack.

Robin had gotten (her breast implants) a month, two months prior to being on the show, so they hadn't settled by the time she got there. By the time we left, they had gotten to a more natural place.

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Hot for Brady Fakers

so hot! 

Ok, here's one more for the Freaky Fetishes File...people who get turned on by neck and back braces...this almost beats the "female masking" freaks, but not quite.

Welcome to NBAK. Born October 19, 1996 NBAK started out as a small but dedicated group of regular folks who share a common interest in "recreational & artistic" neck and back bracing...

The best part is the "personals" section...

Hello! I'm a 30 years old gay boy, and I would like to know Men who wear a cervical collar or any tipe of braces. I have a CTLSO and a cervical collar. Legsbracers are welcome

12/5/04 friendly 18yr old english gal, dreams of trying or owning a leg brace/cast and crutches but shy and dont know how...Cud u help me?

hello, i'm a 24 years old belgium boy, heterosexual, attractive. i have a passion for all bracing (expecially neck-bracing) i'm looking for belgium or dutch girls who have my same passion and would share my interest. please send me a mail, you can't loose anything

If only Judy Blume's scoliosis-afflicted Deenie had known about this brace-loving community, she might never have cut off all her hair in despair at the ruination of her good looks!(via NewYorkish)
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Bloodshed in the Magic Kingdom

...until someone dies, that is 

This site has a detailed and well-researched timeline of the deaths that have occurred within the Magic Kingdom...good times...here is a sampling.

The Tom Sawyer Theory: Bogden Delaurot and the Rivers of America

Fatalities: One
Year: 1973
Mortem Methodia: Drowning
The Tale of the Toetag:

Despite the Magic Kingdom's incessant leaning towards the state of the art, there are a few attractions within the park's borders that remain sacred. One such institution is Tom Sawyer's Island, rising like a meditative citadel out of the Rivers of America, surrounded by works in progress and an endless wash of sweaty feet on the opposing concrete shores. Sawyer's Island was once the premiere lure for young children of the Cold War Era and their fixation on cowboys and indians, Tom and Huck, and mysterious caves and forests--these days, it's the only place in the entire resort where you can sit unmolested and indulge a game of checkers.

The island also has a potent tradition of being the spot of choice for those daring or drunken enough to try and evade Disney security's nightly sweep of the property. Though these days the simple patrol of employees with flashlights has been replaced by a platoon of scubamen with thermal imaging goggles, trained dogs and speedboats with spotlights at the prow, it doesn't deter guests from giving it the old frat effort. As a matter of fact, attempting to hide out on Tom Sawyer's Island remains the single highest cause of incarceration by Disneyland police: overshadowing the smuggling of alcohol into the park, incidents of physical violence and even shoplifting....

And for a bonus, the site is sponsored by a site called Yesterland: The Discontinued Disneyland, where you can re-live the glory of now defunct attractions like the Peoplemover, Captain Eo, and the Swiss Family Treehouse. Awesome.
(via Defamer)
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Subway Gripes, part II

Some days the subway can really kill you 

I have 2 subway pet peeves that I have to get off my chest this morning.

#1) People who won't slide over into the window seat. It would be so easy if you just slid over but instead you have to make an elaborate show of swinging your legs over to allow me to crawl past you and sit in the window seat myself. What is the problem here? Are you really that concerned that you won't be able to get out in time? I will let you out! I promise!

#2) You're on a crowded train, headed to a major stop like Times Square or Penn Station. Before the train gets to the station, people feel the absurd need to push their way towards the door. As if they are going to be the ONLY ONE who needs to get off at this stop. Now I understand the fear of not getting off in time, when you are buried in the middle of the car amidst armpits and luggage. It is understandable to want to get towards the door when you need to get off at a stop that no one else is likely to be getting off at- say 18th st on the 1/9 or 3rd ave on the L. But when you are getting off at a stop that HALF THE FUCKING TRAIN is going to get off at as well, there is really NO NEED to push to the door saying "Excuse me, I need to get off". So does 90% of the train, moron! It's TIMES FUCKING SQUARE!

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"Britney on the rocks"

Whisky and Red Bull in the afternoon. Classy! 

It's good to know that Britney's descent into white trash debauchery will be exhaustively chronicled by the Sun. This headline is priceless.

Britney on the rocks
TROUBLED Britney Spears sinks to a new low — swigging whisky and Red Bull and scoffing junk food in the street with her love-rat fiancé.

The once-glamorous pop princess, 22, looked a slob as she drifted from one low-budget store to another for lunch with jobless dancer Kevin Federline.

The best part is the boxed off section at the bottom:

Britney's Malibu diet:
Starter
Portion of French fries

Main course
A Subway roll, packets of cheese and onion Wheatos and salt and vinegar Lays crisps with a bottle of orangeade

Dessert
Miniature bottle of Glenlivet whisky with a Red Bull energy drink chaser

(via Whatevs)


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Lindsey's Lohans

"What You Missed in Last Month's Issue of Seventeen" 

Love it. On New Yorkish.
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Queer it up

Oh, things just keep getting better! 

Ok, we all know that Queer Eye is so last year but I still think that one of you L.A.dies should do Queer Eye for the Straight Girl...the casting call is tomorrow in Toluca Lake (Toluca Lake?)...
(via Defamer)


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We're all grownz up

I learned it by watching you! 

Interesting Salon article on how much to tell your kids about your own drug use...makes me really glad that I won't be dealing with this one for a while...

What to tell the children about past -- and, in many cases, current -- drug use ain't easy. Should we practice what we preach? Should we lie? Where do you draw the line between being a hypocrite and protecting your kids? Are we worse parents if we get high in front of our kids than if we have a couple of stiff drinks? How do we reconcile our own experiences with drugs -- ones that have been overwhelmingly positive -- with the very real possibility that our kids could run into trouble with what are in fact potent substances?

I especially like this quote:

"I probably won't be fully open about my drug use until my sons are in their 20s, post-college maybe. I feel like I have to give him guidance before that, but I'm not going to tell him about the time I dropped two hits of E and two tabs of acid and had my brain melt while I watched the Breeders and the Beastie Boys at Lollapalooza. I can't say, 'Make sure you don't melt your brain like daddy!'"

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Unnecessary Market Expansion

Hmmm... 

Is this new Kleenex for Men really necessary? Guys, you tell me. As a girl, if I saw this at a man's house I'd assume there was heavy porn consumption going on. Is that the image you want to convey to visitors?
(via New Yorkish)
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Special People and their Special Email


Get over it, already! 

I can totally relate to this review on The Black List...I really don't get why people are sooooo excited that they were "invited" to have gmail. So you have tons of storage space....whooopee. Goody for you.

PEOPLE AND THEIR SILLY GMAIL ACCOUNTS: I'm sorry, but if I see one more dork proudly showing off their Gmail account, I'm going to hurl. (And yes, if you are proudly showing off your Gmail account, you ARE a dork.) I've seen people go about this account-brandishing in a number of ways, from saying things like, "I'll leave as soon as I'm done checking my *Gmail* account," to gratuitously CCing me on emails where they talk about their new *Gmail* accounts, to the outright, "I have a *Gmail* account, and it is soooo cool!" Wise up people. It's a stinkin' email account. I don't care if you had to be "invited." It's still not that cool. Besides, Yahoo offers 100MB and doesn't invade your privacy. So there. D -- Jeremy

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Miller Time

Sick. 

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Hollister judge horrified at finding a mouse in his beer

It'll be a long time before Judge Randy Anglen can enjoy a cold bottle of beer.

On a Tuesday in late May, Anglen — Hollister's municipal judge and a practicing attorney for 14 years in Taney County — came home from work, had dinner and grabbed a Miller Lite from the fridge. He slipped it into a cooler sleeve, twisted off the top and drank the beer over the next few minutes. He drained the last bit into the sink so he could put the bottle in his recycling bin.

When he set the dark brown bottle on the counter, he heard a "plop" as something dropped from the neck to the bottom of the bottle. He pulled the bottle out of its sleeve. When he peered into it, the first thing he saw was a long tail coiling around the inside of the bottle.

Then he saw the rest of the mouse.

A big, whole dead mouse...

(via catherine's pita)
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Sordid Britney Story

Brit's First Marriage 

oooh... the trashy-looking British tab "News of the World" apparantly got an exclusive interview with Jason Alexander, of the 55 hour Britney marriage fiasco. Good stuff...lots of sex gossip and detail on the Spears family annullment smackdown...that poor country boy, he didnt know what hit him!

Britney was my sex-mad bride

...It was 4am by the time they went back to their hotel suite and made love for the first time.

"We knew what was going to happen," he said. "Britney started stripping off her clothes as she walked into the suite. Then we started kissing.

"She got down to just her black thong and a see-through lace bra. I've never seen a woman look more stunning.

"I wanted to make love to her and she wasn't shy in showing what she wanted. We started off in the bedroom kissing. She was good at that—she was good at everything. She was an animal in bed.

"We were both hot so I led her into the bathroom. There was a huge shower head that sent water down on to us as though it was rain. We stripped off competely and got into the shower and Britney performed oral sex on me as the water ran down over both of us.

"Afterwards I led her back into the bedroom. At first she was on top of me and then I was on top. We did it every way you could. But it wasn't cheap. I really cared about her and it felt right.

"At times she was noisy. She didn't call me any names, she just moaned. We didn't use any precautions either."

After sex they fell asleep in each other's arms...

(via Whatevs)
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"Fuck for Forest"

Are they...? Oh my god, they ARE! 

This is so funny...this couple had sex on the stage at this music festival in Norway to protest the devastation of the rainforests. First we had that "Butterfly" chick (or whatever her name was) who sat in the tree for months and now this! Those wacky environmentalists, what'll they think of next?

Ellingsen claims the couple performed the surprise sex stunt during a set by the controversial band The Cumshots "actually to draw attention to the rain forests, which are in the process of disappearing."

The couple also runs a porno web site called "Fuck for Forest," which offers pornographic photos for money that they claim they donate to rain forest preservation groups. " We're idealists, call us 'environmental radicals,'" Ellingsen said. "Porn is just a means of reaching our goals."

(via TOTC)

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Amish in the City

Maybe this sign will end up on the corner of Hollywood and Vine? 

Woo Hoo! It's really happening!

UPN Ready to Launch 'Amish in the City'
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Blending reality TV with a bit of "rumspringa," the UPN network is launching a controversial new series this month centered on a group of Amish teens as they venture from their rural environs into the outside world.

Debuting July 28 with two consecutive hourlong episodes, "Amish in the City" will follow five Amish youth sharing an ultra-modern house in the Hollywood Hills with six young urbanites, the network said on Thursday...

Anyone down for an "Amish" viewing party?
(via TOTC)

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Why, Gwyneth, why?

Gwyneth's new age bruises
 

This is Gwyneth Paltrow's back at the Anchorman premiere party. Apparently the marks are the results of cupping, a treatment related to acupuncture that involves putting a glass cup that contains heated air against the skin, creating a vacuum effect.

OK, fine, that is all well and good. Whatever works for you, Gwynnie. What I want to know is, what the hell was she thinking wearing a dress like that when she has those creepy bruises? She could have just as easily worn something that covered them up. I don't get it. I mean they are really weird-looking...The Post's article offers some ideas...

Westchester acupuncturist Jeanne Ronan mused, "Maybe she wanted to open a forum about alternative medicine."

Maybe she wanted to open a forum about alternative medicine? Oh COME ON! That is ridiculous.
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Talk to your doctor about Email Anxiety

What if the email didn't go through? What if it's in his junk mail folder? Should I re-send it? Is that crazy? Maybe he's avoiding me?... 


I recently received a wake up call as to the fallibility of this here Information Superhighway when several people informed me that they got some emails from me- like 3 weeks after I sent them! Of course this got my little psycho brain all riled up thinking "what if other, more important, emails also didn't go through?". Relationships could be ruined! Jobs lost! Lives devastated!

This is where didtheyreadit.com comes in...a casual stalker's best friend!

Mission
How many times have you sent an e-mail, only to think, "I wonder if he/she got it?" Despite the fact that e-mail is electronic, it is far from error-proof, and quite often e-mail either doesn't get delivered or is never read. Spam, or junk e-mail, has become such a major part of our daily routines that sometimes legitimate e-mail gets trashed along with the unwanted. In this environment, there is a tremendous need for DidTheyReadIt, which lets you know if your recipients have read your messages. It's safe, easy, and answers the age-old question: "Did they read my e-mail?" DidTheyReadIt answers that question and more, telling you where people read your messages, how long they read them for, and even (in some cases) whom they forward them to.

As Amy (who alerted me to this site) puts it:

I don't think I'd actually pay for it but I'd be willing to try out the free trial if I have an "important" email situation. and of course, "important" = boys.

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Eliza Don'tlittle

HATE her 

TVgasm is fuuuuunnny...love this description of Frankie and her "I'm too punk rock for this" look on the reunion episode...Hee!

Meanwhile, let's talk about Frankie. Oh Frankie. Where to begin? If I were Steven Cojocuru, I might say something dumb like "She wanted to look like Eliza Doolittle, but she was more like Eliza Don'tlittle." Luckily, I'm not Steven Cojocuru, so I'll simply say that if Mary Poppins had a lovechild with a skunk, it would be Frankie.

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Crazy Euros

"Hey love crusader, I wanna be your space invader" 

You can thank the Black Table for pointing out this crazy little European song number...play it with the sound on. You won't be sorry.
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For Love or Money?

stupid, stupid, stupid 

Is Britney really this stupid? I mean COME ON...no pre-nup? That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You've known this guy for all of 3 months. I've had a more enduring relationship with my dry cleaner.

July 7, 2004 -- BRITNEY Spears insists she's marrying for love, not money — and the pop tart is resisting pressure from her parents to force her fiance, dancer Kevin Federline, to sign a prenuptial agreement. Spears, worth $100 million, reportedly had to pay for her own $40,000, 5-carat engagement ring, and has put Federline on her permanent payroll as he has no money of his own. Spears' mother, Lynne, is said to be distraught over Spears' blind love. According to Star, her dad, Jamie, begged her to demand a prenup — to no avail...

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What is wrong with her tits?

Note the vast cleavage crevasse 

Love this Defamer item:

Men of Hollywood, despair. Your hopes for a famous bride with a jaw-dropping dowry and eye-poppingly creepy cleavage have been dashed upon the rocks of temporary, celebrity matrimony. Tori Spelling is finally and officially off the market, as married actor/playwright Charlie Shanian (not pictured on left, we think) on Saturday. As Spelling-obsessed stepsister site Gawker pointed out some time ago, the couple is registered at Tiffany. Why not stroll over to their registry and play one of our favorite party games, "Which of these items wouldn't fit in the expanse separating Tori's tits?"

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When nature calls...


P-mate: The wave of the future 

A device invented to allow women to pee while standing up...pure genius? A product whose time has come? or a pee-soaked, dirty funnel? You be the judge...

Of course you will think: "Does it really work?" You will never find out when you never used the P-Mate. The first time may be a little bit strange. Maybe you have never urinated while standing up before. Yet this women's product gives a practical solution in lots of 'urgency'-situations and while using the P-Mate, peeing while standing upright is easier than you think in the first place. Maybe you will not succeed the first time, but remember: practice makes perfect.

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Too rich and too thin

UPDATE: Eeeeek 


Food Scares Me  

This is Donatella Versace's daughter. She just inherited half the Versace estate (that's Ver-sase, for all you Showgirls fans) and she needs a sandwich, pronto! As Gawker put it "Hey, I know you don't get a chance to eat much when you're Donatella Versace's daughter, but haven't we all just learned our lesson?"...
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You can go your own way...

This Universal Review item about getting your shit together feels particularly meaningful to me, as I am also trying to get my own shit together these days, and finding it a rather large pain in the ass...and oh yeah, it's fucking funny too. (Note to self: Work on Pottymouth)

Changing Your Ways
If you have been paying any attention to the Universal Review, you know that we consider Stevie Nicks to occupy an important spot in our personal Holy Trinity of Crazy Blondes. Duh, she is the Holy Ghost. I will leave it to you to figure out who the Father and the Son are. There are people (Henry) who scoff at our witchy muse, but even Stevie haters cannot argue with the sentiment that time makes you bolder and children get older. Guess what? I’m getting older too. For one thing, I am prematurely gray. And don’t tell me it looks “distinguished.” I don’t like liars.

The logical corollary here, of course, is that I been ‘fraid of changin’ ‘cause I built my life around you. No, not you personally, but you know what I am saying. At a certain point, one realizes that—‘fraid or not—it is time to shape up and change your retarded ways. This involves: cleaning your room, waking up before one pm, eating vegetables. All of that. Being less of a slut might be a good idea too, but no judgement!...

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Fun with Google
I just love to see how people get to this website via Google...lately it's been lots of "mary-kate + anorexic + crack" or "Lindsey Lohan + fake boobs". You, know, what you'd expect. But it's great when a search like meth whore "las vegas" gay brings up my site. 100% class in this here establishment, 100%.
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